Stunning Rugby for the Watching - Uni Red v Taroona Penguins at Home, 29 August 2020

 First things first; no covid remedy yet, so please continue with the beer supplement - not illegal, and helps dull the pain, without any adverse effect. Compared to injecting detergent.

Image: Ewan Bennett and son, not listening to the 
Taroona coach generously acknowledging his own teams efforts, which did in fact preclude a Uni victory.

Wombat: the scoreline? "When I came on as a finisher, I stemmed the tide. The Penguins had 4 tries up and a couple converted. We needed to 'steady'. And we did, shortly followed by a beautiful pirouette by Jack The Other Butcher of Sandy Bay and clean straight running throught the Blue loosies, and scored under the posts.

Merv: "In my day, forwards didn't touch the ball...."

There's an atmosphere in the clubrooms after a match. Unless there has been serious injustice, there are smiles all round. 

Except if you are the treasurer and wondering where the money has gone. Thanks Bede Donnelly for now many years of service to the club, from playing in the 1990s before you went to Sydney to push shares around via the Outlaw Motorcycle Gang: viz Bell Potter.

Taroona at the speeches. A fair summary. Realistic acknowledgment of their defeats by Devonport the week before - they present as solid opposition

Coach Jensen with Katie - thanks Katie and your mum Sue for putting on the luncheon for Ladies Day. They very much enjoyed the food, fantastic weather, and the contest on the green green grass.

Matt is thinking, thinking - all the time. You are pulling them together and it was a good effort today. Indubitably our defence was superb, but with punishment ongoing, the Blues had to sneak through a few times.

Now we don't normally put photos of former New Zealanders up but Barge Burgess is a great contributor to the club - keeping the fine cuisine for special occasions, we are very fortunate the extradition failed

Former Taroona front row, Jack Black, (sorry, Justin Black) taking time out to listen to your scribe and laughing generously at the wisdom and wit

Mike and Half. Although not a win, an honest game by both

Richard very nearly got sent from the field for his mischief making, but he had the better of the psychological battle with the ref. Indeed, the Ref appeared likely to walk and give himself a red card

Jack, relatively new to the game, but that is the smile of a first time try scorer. Well done Jack. You will remember that for the rest of your life. Running straight, in the middle, pushing opponents away, and under the posts - YAY! 

Angus and Nigel manned the bar and served up the sauce to the thirsty.

After the Women's 7s contests during the earlier part of the day, we had the company of a few Burnie former players and supporters. Pictured here is Zif Arnold,  Quins and Burnie.

Zif reminded us of the bit of cheek he delivered to the ref in his time:

Referee Ron Bessell to Zif: "You, any more of that backchat, and I'll send you from the field".

Zif to Ron: "What do you think I said?"

Ron: "You said "Open your eyes you dickhead"

Zif: "How did you know I was talking to you?" - indeed.

Taroona had no difficulty winning their own ball.

Phil Gee, from the 1975-83 era and a serious cause of our 1978 Grand Final Victory - chatted about his early High School trip to Sydney - from Taroona High School, learning from Matraville High (breeding ground of the Ellas) and Randwick Rugby

Phil rightly commented that the match was like World War 1 battle in the trenches. There is no doubt it was a torrid defensive game by Uni - with Taroona perched in our 22 for too much - but penetrating less than might have been expected.

Defence defence defence. Then Richard Simmons complained of scraping by the Blues' half, raking him on the back, and spoiling the cut of his jersey.  

Back at the clubrooms, the ladies were at times more sporting than the players

Now here is the indefatigable Mart Kruup. Mart played first for Uni of Tas Rugby in 1970 in the under 19 team, coached by accounting lecturer  (and New Zealander) Pete Byers, and Jules Amos (at one time President of the club). Mart is not from the infamous Kruup Industries, rather is from Estonia, his parents from Tallinn. Mart was a very useful forward player, of the same ilk as Merv. Once, when handed the ball in the clubrooms after the game Mart said "Heavy, isn't it". 

One way to win a scrum. Play your own team.

New club member and returned from injury, Michael Donnellin, represented on the side of the field by Sally and child (wrapped in the gear). "Mike needs to have a trot around to work off a bit of the pork" Sally informed your correspondent. All good at home?

The 6 Ps: Prior preparation prevents piss poor performance

 Phil Stary, and Lyndall Mann - enjoyed the sideline committee overruling the referee. Phil played in the 1970s and coached the Uni side for a few years. Well known for positivity and a clear grasp of the laws, all that knowledge is now otiose

Guarding the entry to the Uni lower campus precinct were turncoat Gavin Watts father of Taroona player Rees. Gav was a studious Uni player in the 1980s, and his sage preparation saved his ears. A true story: in the changerooms before the game in 1982, Gav called out "Bugger, I've forgotten my tampons, has anyone got any?" One of the older players said "yes, I've got a couple in the car", and brought them in. Gav strapped them between his ears and the tape and avoided cauliflowers.Not so stupid

Pictures with Gav is former referee and sometime coach Colin Debnam, a well earned right to be on the side and not in the middle of the paddock. Also, Adam Ranui, onetime great of the Taroona great teams of the 1970s and 80s.

A couple from the archive:

Back in 1979, Boss John Deeley, a South African and fabulous half back, with Dave Sullings, at the old Rugby Park change rooms. Boss John died suddenly that year, and the Club established the Deeley Trophy for significant contribution to the TURUFC. Dave was a very hard and focused forward, with a wry dry wit - often missed by his opponents. 

Thanks to Andrew Hoffmann in Sydney for sharing this photo: I think it was "Around the World By Beer" - and a Conga line of Uni Rugby - I'd say probably 1987, some people a little hard to see, but: Knuckles Broadby, Hoffy, Captain and Coach (no easy feat) Josh Carmody, Nick W Dunstan, Stau Saipai, XX, Gavin Rahn, Trent Moore, Andrew Roberts, Simon Wilding, Ken Jagger, Frank Brown....

Those same genteelmen, shaping up for the team photo 1987

Next week: At Uni: Golden Oldies early match about noon, followed by Uni at home against [to be advised]

How Did It End? Sponsors' Lunch and Uni Rugby v Glenorchy - 22nd August 2020

Match report: in the closest of games, Uni found difficulty consummating all the hard work getting to the Glenorchy line, and just didn't get the try that was necessary to push them to the lead. There were no haughty supercilious opponents drinking our beer and we weren't smarting from failure, yet, nevertheless, something more was needed to be a leap ahead.

Uni body height into contact was inadequate, and must have depowered the push, or made all have to work harder for the same power. Arriving cavalry had to punch in much more to have impact. Consequently the ball was turned over more often than should have been expected, and indeed, simply 'too many times' (isn't that an old song by Mental as Anything? - So it is, the Coach felt

Hotshoe: go to "Too Many Times":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KZ-PqkaCX8

The old Uni trick of keeping possession by running wide and avoiding the immediate impact does not serve us well.  It looks good for longer but ends in being squeezed into the sideline - without gaining that simple reality: distance and proximity to the tryline.

Someone needs to be the sacrificial lamb and enter the heart of the early backline contest with straight running, go to ground, and present for the circling seagulls.

Tom Kendall did outstanding work, tirelessly and both attacking and keeping the blacks from exploiting weakness.

This week, superior accuracy in the line out throwing enabled that department to gain our fair share.

But enough of the game. What about the sideline committee?

Best on ground around the red wine: Winkle, JP Cumming, Grant and The Ice Kube (now, that one goes back a long way, to an Intervarsity in Sydney, when most of our Uni team had gained entrance to a Leagues Club - then Kube put his name in the visitor book as "Ice Kube" - and we all got chucked out)

Barge and grand-daughter put on a fantastic meal for the hungry and thirsty 'not to be allowed to play reserves' - viz, the sponsors. Image: here is the table before the food fight.

And this is what caused the spasms, hamstring injuries, and blackouts- blue cards, and hot intensity debate about referee quality:

But do they call Jack Creen "Jack, the Builder?" - No they do not -But mount one goat....

Jack explained that his garrulous yet sometimes obstreperous behaviour goes back to aa period of 6 years in the UK. No doubt! Greece and UK have the goat as NZ has the sheep. Jack's version is that he played for Lensbury RUFC, but took the club into a IP battle in the courts, until they folded and had to adopt a new name - "Lensbury Athletic" had been out-taken by private equity, keen to protect their investment.

Jack returned to Australia, and after muddling in physiotherapy, until he 'found a wife', commenced "Lensbury Constructions" - a team of 7 'private equity builders'.  The Right Stuff.

Historically, the games against Glenorchy have been hot contests, both of sport and anti-sport. The seasonal award, ostensibly for cowardice in the face of the foe, is represented by the "Stag's Head" award.  I good friend of mine, as he then was, found the mangled wooden half head with missing antler at the tip and fashioned the shield in his downstairs sanitorium, and presented the inaugural trophy to your correspondent. What cowardice I displayed is not presently recalled. Probably electing to sit a final exam, or attend a near relative's death bed, in lieu of engaging in the contest that day.

Perhaps you can decipher the putative winners on the shield. I see a Taskunas, a John Pickering, Stau Saipaia, Johno Beasley, eric Sheegog and others - not known at all for taking a backward step. So I can only assume there is an element of irony in the 'gift' of this award. Sometimes.  See if you can find your name on the award, and if not TRY HARDER.

Eye contact, and shake hands please men

Captain Zac readying himself for the match, and welcoming the "Old Goats" to the dining room

Sponsors and physiotherapists - useful for two things. Jack Creen with colleague Stewart Williamson - of Leap Health. Leap took out coach Matt Jensen's physio practices a couple of years ago, with an early tackle. They work together now.

 

Pre match warm up: Our match might end with the final siren or bell, but it has another life in the imagination. Players are players in the way that actors are players. Sport is serious, but it is play. It is real, yet it is not, of itself, reality. It is the most accessible theatre in the world, yet many of those involved would otherwise dismiss the possibilities of theatre.  (1)
These ambiguities, usually with a rich comic under current are what draw us time and again to what might be thought to be the perpetual motion machine.

Sport is often described in such rich hyperbolic tones and descriptions as to be more serious than ordinary life.

Those who consider themselves to be above sport are missing out. Sport is a human activity, the body at a peak of performance, the mind (sometimes) engaged. It is intrinsic, not peripheral to society. (

Specatators with 50 years of love for the Club roam in from as far afield as the Eastern Shore. They negotiate who wants and who will get the first beer. They rug up against the elements when they could just as easily have lit the fire at home. They know, like us all, that this one obsession is not only permitted by their loved ones, but it defines a part of their character, the way they play, the way they translate that integrity into their work and human relations. And it puts a smile on their faces which wasn't there when they opened the door at their workplace on Monday morning.

Readying for the chorus of cheers from that audience the men - starters, finishers, coach, extras, before the battle begins, they have started their emotional and physical preparation.

Weatherman Riley (formerly of the University Associates Rugby Union Football Club) was quizzed by Paul Cook about the potential for rain today. "My firm prediction is that it will hold up today, but there might be a light shower on Sunday" - so said Mal at 2.55pm 

That afternoon the heavens opened up and 25cm poured through the holes in his forecast and spilled out of the gutters onto the concrete, splashed up into his eyes, and rendered him helpless to further baiting:

Brent describing the arc by which fruit and cheese is usually spun when the main course has seen the guests elegantly suffused. "Normally some idiot chucks the soft bris toward the head of the table about 4.15pm, then bread and biscuits rain down liberally, and without clear intent":

What's not to smile about? Tommy Healy. Face made of mirth:

All that said, it was a very entertaining match, and much of the crowd pushed into the clubrooms to watch over the balcony once Mal Riley's rain come down.

That didn't stop the Patron "Ice Kube" and Ritchie the sheep shagger from sticking their fingers up at the crowd when invited to take a lower profile so more could see the game. "UP YOURS" said Ritchie: 

Speeches: eloquence. Passion. Clarity of thought. Generosity. Lauding the best, forgiving the rest, forging camaraderie with opponents. Exposing novel hair cuts to a larger audience: Josh speaks to his players and the Old Goats:

And the opponents get the opportunity to use words with more than 2 syllables - University - for example. John Thomas Glenorchy President introduced is players

The Glenorchy Coach was rightly pleased with the result.  Jeff Tonks, "Tonksy" was, in his time, a play maker, taking high ball over his head, and booting the buggery out of it, or running straight through his team from full back, and into the mess of his opponents. 

Hayden enjoyed the day

Reuben did too

Is this the bus you wanted on Saturday night? To where might it go? These are potent forces, those of the testosterone left boiling in the veins of youth...

"Ring the Bells" - close the doors

A few photos from the walls

 

(1) Acknowledgement: Former Uni of Tas Aussie Rules player and author, Martin Flanagan

(2) Coming up shortly: calls for the full story on all the Stag's Head winners have gone out to Simon Taskunas over in Western Australia. He is licking his pen as we speak.